Re-Learning How To Walk

There’s a first for everything.

Maybe I’m a late bloomer in this, but today was the first time I tried to text Jordan. Wow.

The sad thing about grieving your husband is that you need your husband to grieve your husband. As C.S. Lewis describes it, when one loses a spouse they become an amputee. We have to re-learn how to live life without the other half. It’s been over a year and quite honestly, I’m still learning this new way of living.

Life is different now. I won’t ever be the same, but I won’t be left empty. I may always have heartache, but my heart won’t always be broken. I may always cry down certain aisles in Whole Foods, but my tears will never be unseen.

This hope, my friends, is very real and very near. I will march forward with my new limp, I will re-learn how to walk with this new gait. I will re-learn how to live life without my other half.

And every piece of me that is missing lies at the feet of Jesus Christ. He will use my pieces. Nothing will keep these tired eyes from seeing the saving grace of her Savior.

We run to finish the race, but sometimes we show up at the finish line with missing limbs, bandaged wounds, and tattered uniforms. I know when I get to that finish line, everything I ran for will be standing there waiting for me- Him, in all His beautiful glory- and He will wipe the sweat from my brow, kiss the wounds on what’s left of my feet, and carry me home. Just as my husband experienced.

Death can’t shake me.

Photo by Hans Kleinschmidt

Photo by Hans Kleinschmidt

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One comment

  1. gayle aiken · May 15, 2015

    Hi Cady, my name is Gayle Aiken. I know Ron and Lynette and have followed your story from the beginning. I have admired your strength and faithfulness. The Lord never promised we wouldn’t have storms in life but he did promise he would walk with us through those storms. I lost my husband of 40 years to cancer in January. We have two beautiful daughters and four grandchildren. I, like you feel so lost. My life has totally changed and will never be the same. So many “firsts.” I just spent my first Mother’s Day and it happened to fall on his birthday. Some days just waiting for the door to open, knowing he is home from work. Coming home from the bone marrow clinic one day back in December, I mentioned to Wiley, “life can be so hard.” He looked at me and said, “Gayle, life is good. Everyday is a good day. We always have to look for the good.” I carry those words with me each day. I still can’t believe my husband is gone. He was a wonderful man and a faithful servant to our Lord. Will be praying for you. Just felt led to write you this morning. love in Christ, Gayle Aiken

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