Re-Learning How To Walk

There’s a first for everything.

Maybe I’m a late bloomer in this, but today was the first time I tried to text Jordan. Wow.

The sad thing about grieving your husband is that you need your husband to grieve your husband. As C.S. Lewis describes it, when one loses a spouse they become an amputee. We have to re-learn how to live life without the other half. It’s been over a year and quite honestly, I’m still learning this new way of living.

Life is different now. I won’t ever be the same, but I won’t be left empty. I may always have heartache, but my heart won’t always be broken. I may always cry down certain aisles in Whole Foods, but my tears will never be unseen.

This hope, my friends, is very real and very near. I will march forward with my new limp, I will re-learn how to walk with this new gait. I will re-learn how to live life without my other half.

And every piece of me that is missing lies at the feet of Jesus Christ. He will use my pieces. Nothing will keep these tired eyes from seeing the saving grace of her Savior.

We run to finish the race, but sometimes we show up at the finish line with missing limbs, bandaged wounds, and tattered uniforms. I know when I get to that finish line, everything I ran for will be standing there waiting for me- Him, in all His beautiful glory- and He will wipe the sweat from my brow, kiss the wounds on what’s left of my feet, and carry me home. Just as my husband experienced.

Death can’t shake me.

Photo by Hans Kleinschmidt

Photo by Hans Kleinschmidt