Can’t Flip the Pages Fast Enough

Jordan is having the first part of his surgery today. After a very long and chaotic morning, sweet Jordan’s surgery was running over 2 hours late. Of course, he is all smiles and positivity. 

I have been receiving hourly calls from the nurses letting me know that everything has been going smoothly. We are thinking he will be out of surgery after 8-9 tonight. 

Meanwhile, me, my sweet in-laws, and my mother are passing the time by rotating waiting rooms, snacking on Pop Rocks, and drinking cups of coffee… Remaining occupied is one of my first lines of defense I use during my fragile-hearted seasons in order to guard my mind from going down too dark of alleys. Perhaps that is why so many times my sweet Father encourages me to “be still.” For me, this almost seems like a dare. If I dare to be still, I may hurt or wander, but He quickly steps in the clouds of my mind and reminds me of His promises.

In these still moments, I am reminded that He is writing mine and Jordan’s story- not the doctors. The ultimate Author has had His pen in hand for 23 years now, carefully developing every intricate piece of our story… and so far, He’s written a pretty incredible story -if I do say so myself!  

When I was in middle school, I asked the Lord to write me a beautiful love story. One that would turn heads and show others the Love is real. Four months into marriage, and I am still breathless at the fairytale He has given me.

Thank You Dearest, for being my Author.

I was talking to my lovely mother-in-law about how I feel like Jordan and I are at the beginning of our story. I told her how I can feel our happy ending brewing richly right around the corner. I just can’t seem to flip through the pages fast enough to get to our happy ending! 

Later, I felt Jesus say to my heart: I just can’t flip through the pages fast enough either

I love that He not only writes my story, but He waits for me at the happy ending and is eager to see me read every page He meticulously worded and pieced together. It’s like He’s excitedly waiting for me to discover what is in our next chapter. 

 

Waiting rooms are brutal. But I know this is just a page. The next page has something sweeter.

 

 

II Chronicles 20

“…For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” – Judah (vs. 12)

“Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s.” – The Lord, in response (vs. 15)Image

Prince Charming ready to slay the Dragon. See ya cancer.

Stupid Faith

 

 

 

 

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This was captured right before Jordan proposed to me.
He said, “Cady this is where I want our relationship to begin, to end, and this is where we will always run.” Then he asked me to be his wife.
Thank you Sean Frank Photography for capturing this moment.

 

Friends, family, and even new family members we have yet to meet:

 

Thank you for your prayers. Your overwhelmingly loving response to our post has truly touched our hearts and primed our faith even more. To those of you whom we’ve yet to meet, thank you for the prayers and fasting- it already feels like you are family! Family in spirit is very true to say. Thank you all for the arms of love and support. Jordan and I have felt your prayers (many I have felt in the middle of long nights, during horrific doctor’s appointments, and as soon as I wake up.) Thank you. 

Jordan and I went to countless amounts of doctor’s appointments last week. An average of 5 a day. Over and and over again being reminded of the severity of my husband’s condition, and how his vision and even death are very near in our future. Looking at the scans, I would have to agree. And I would have to thank the doctors for their excellent and professional opinions. We appreciate their work. But now we’ve come to a place where our doctors have admitted their limitations, and only a miracle is what will save us.

So this is where I stand: I have stupid faith. I am drawing the line. Cancer will not take my husband’s life, and it will not take his vision. In fact, it will not even touch our children and grandchildren. It stops here. It stops at the feet of Jesus. It amazes me how my sweet Savior collects my tears and takes what I have to make something breath-taking from my own grisly attempt to put my faith together.

Stupid faith is a beautiful thing. It acknowledges the facts, the scans, the percentages, the diagnosis, and then it lifts its heavy head to the face of Jesus and says, I still know You will touch this. Stupid faith is all I have, and I know that somehow He will use it.

Lord, when my head is too heavy to lift to Your face, take Your hands and make my eyes meet Yours. 

Stupid faith isn’t a state of denial. I’m definitely not in denial. Stupid faith is quite apt on the severity and practicality of the situation. However, it is stupid, so it chooses hope anyway. Another reason why stupid faith is, well, stupid is because when you have to have it, you don’t really want to be in the stupid situation in the first place. 🙂

Jordan and I decided to come to Redding, CA to attend Bethel’s healing services. We are baffled at the peace and joy we’ve experienced here. Another cool thing that has happened while we’ve been here is that Jordan’s eye swelling has decreased a little every day. 🙂

 

We are expecting a miracle. We know this is not the end, but just the beginning. It’s so odd, because I know where Jordan and I are now is exactly where I know the Lord wants us. He will protect us, He will restore us. He will save us.

Let every thing that has breath praise the Lord.

 

 

You have kept count of my tossings;
    put my tears in your bottle.
    Are they not in your book?
Then my enemies will turn back
    in the day when I call.
    This I know, that[d] God is for me.
 In God, whose word I praise,
    in the Lord, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
    What can man do to me?

I must perform my vows to you, O God;

I will render thank offerings to you.

 For you have delivered my soul from death,
    yes, my feet from falling,
that I may walk before God
    in the light of life.